Monday, October 29, 2007

Lost

Today, as a parent, I feel lost. I want to know the answers but instead I'm walking blindly. Last night, Gabrielle took 15 Tylenol. We had restricted her from seeing her "boyfriend" during the weekend because she had failed a Chemistry quiz and test during the past week. I knew she was angry at us but I had no idea she was capable of what she did. She is currently at the hospital with George. She's going to be ok. They're going to keep her to observe her for twenty-four hours.
I go from feeling angry at her, to being incredibly scared, to being sad. I don't know what to do but pray. She's so unbalanced that you can't reason with her. This boy is everything to her and nothing else matters. When I asked her why she took the pills, she answered because you wouldn't let me see him. She thinks what she did will scare us enough and we will let her see him again.
I talked to her school counselor today and she gave me some good advice. We can't buckle and we have to what she said "play hardball" back. We can love her but stick to our boundaries. If anything she needs more restriction. So we are taking everything that could be harmful to her and locking it up. We are going to watch her like a hawk and no, she is not going to get to see this boy.
The first thing she asked George when they got to the hospital was, "Can Alex come visit me?" She wants all the sympathy she can get, especially from him. No, he can't visit her.
Do I think she wants to die? No, I really don't. I think she's crying out for help. I think she wants attention but not to die. But we have to treat this seriously. I probably won't be able to work this week. Not until she stabilizes. I am trying to find a good psychiatrist. Hard to do, especially one that takes our insurance.
Please pray. For her, for us. I feel helpless.

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