Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Here's an update on Gabrielle. It looks like she'll be in the hospital for another day. They want to give her a few more doses of the medicine that cleans out the liver. She also has not seen the hospital psychiatrist.
Gabrielle's spirits seem ok. She obviously wants to come home. Last night she kept on asking us if she could see Alex. If he could come to the hospital. We refused. Then she said "Don't you realize that the reason I did this was because you wouldn't let me see him?" So she admitted it to us and to herself. She wants to see if we will buckle because we fear for her life.

It's going to get harder before it gets better. She's going to hate life. We are not going to leave her alone. She will have to come everywhere with us. She is not to shut the door to her room. She is to study downstairs with us. If we go to the park, she comes. Grocery store, same thing. If she wants to trick or treat, guess who she coming with? Yup, Batman and the ladybug.

People that know Gabrielle well, are not surprised this happened. She grew up with a mother that didn't know how to set boundaries. She constantly made Gabrielle lie. She had and has not dealt with her own issues, how could she deal with her daughters? She has never once taken any blame for her actions. We see all these patterns coming out in Gab. She has no boundaries and has no idea how to set them. The first encounter with any rules and structure was with us. So she's going to have to start from scratch. Therapy is going to be tough and very painful. She's going to have to really work to become honest with herself.

She is attracted to this boy because he appears more broken and damaged than she is. She is afraid of healthy people.Gab uses the excuse that she "doesn't fit in with that group." She's threatened by secure people because she herself is so insecure. She will have to learn to love herself by realizing that she is loved. She is looking for her salvation in the wrong place. I know she feels unlovable, even by God. Why would God love me? Please pray that she realizes how lovely she is, not only to us but to God. We are all broken, every last one of us. Sometimes it takes a situation like this to bring you to God. It's what she needs. She's craving a boy's love that will never satisfy her. It she learns this lesson now, it will prevent a lot of future heartbreak.

Pray also for wisdom for George and I. We are going into this with all the good intentions in the world. But we're two very broken people. I found a good therapist that works with teenage girls. She starts next week. I know many people are praying. We feel them. I don't feel as lost as I did yesterday.


Ellen and Kevin Fay said...

I will be praying for you all :) Ellen